John and I are involved in a program of mentors. Nothing complicated, mind you. Just a chance for foursomes to engage in quality listening every so often. One of the perks of being in a small group is the chance to escape the minutia of my routine and awaken to the lives of people around me. It turns out that giving my attention to someone else helps muffle my tendency toward self absorption. 

 

Egocentricity weakens relationships. I guess it is like a Tinkertoy set with only round wooden discs and no connecting green sticks. Sitting around waiting for everyone else to plug into my needs can be lonely, and when all of us do it, that's a lot of lonely. 

 

Marriage is a way to defuse our self centeredness. Parenting is another. God knows this. In fact I think it is part of the Plan.

 

The other night I chatted online with a group of people care about. Back in my thirties, I remember the anxiety of wondering what other people thought of how I was managing my life. But this time I was lighter, willing and eager to hear about how other people are faring, not to judge but to support them. I felt more stable, like a Tinkertoy with many connections. 

 

And you can build a ton of cool things with Tinkertoys.