There is a Ted Talk by a woman with an ordinary enough name. Emily Smith talks about the four pillars of a blessed life. Her assertion is that meaning trumps happiness. It reminds me of a short interaction with my father when I was little. He cupped a penny and a quarter in the palm of his hand.

 

"Choose one. If you pick the right one, you will get both. But if you choose wrong you get neither."

 

I reached for the penny and he smiled. He held the silver quarter up for his youngest daughter's small fingers. He is gone but the message stayed. 

 

Emily articulates four pillars of meaning... belonging, purpose, transcendence, and storytelling. In the pursuit of making a contribution to other people, happiness arrives as a subplot. If we grab for the prizes that society promises will bring us joy... the right car, the perfect body, bulging pockets, prestige... we find an empty hole where fulfillment should be. 

 

It happened just the other day. I was having trouble getting started on yet another day in quarantine, when a friend who owns a bakery asked for masks for his employees. I sprang out of my chair, and headed to the shelves of yardage. I pulled out fabric with bagels, and cupcakes, and chocolate, and began to cut. The chance to serve people who are serving others brought purpose to my morning. As a celebration I ordered food for my family from the cafe as well, to pick up when dropping off the masks. My son did the exchange. 

 

Zack arrived home with bags of deliciousness, and he smiled in a way that was much like his grandfather. 

 

"When he saw the order was for you, the owner ripped up the receipt. Lunch is on the house."