It can be reassuring to only have one dominant feeling at a time. When friends wish you happy birthday, it can be great to soak in their attention. As you unpack in the hotel room for a long anticipated vacation, it can be satisfying to have made plans that came to pass. Even troubling emotions like waiting to hear if a friend has gotten an all clear from their doctor are single minded.
But when you are the lightning rod for conflicting responses, things get wonky.
"Yes my dear daughter I want you to grow up, but then again that means you will leave."
"This promotion is an unexpected boost to my career, and yet it means I will have a learning curve for the new position."
The circumstances most of us find ourselves in seem to accentuate disparate feelings. It is restful to have no commute, and to not have the pressure of heading to the office. And yet, the stress of being home with family, and the uncertainty of the economy are at cross purposes to what might have been a welcome change.
Some of us are experiencing whiplash from vacillating feelings. Friends reassure us that we are doing the best we can. But another voice, just as convincing, pesters us to try harder to finish a project. It is sweet to take more walks, and linger at dinner. Except when it isn't. How can two apparently opposing threads of meaning be true?
Maybe it is simplistic to expect otherwise. A piece of music is engaging because of the melodies that diverge, headed in opposite directions and with different rhythms. Surely the beauty of a lily is magical not in spite of contrast, but because of it.
