Many of our dinner conversations are about the human body. The twins are in an anatomy class and continue to marvel at the wonders of these complex packages we inhabit. Today they told me about joints, and how the shoulder allows for circular movement through the rotator cuff, while the ankle is limited by the bones that jut out at the sides. The latter is a good thing, in that we want our feet to stay facing forward and continue to do so when we walk. The knee is protected by the patella, making nerves and tendons underneath safe. They explained that the muscles often reach deep across the bone, providing such options as the swivel of a wrist. 

 

I listened and enjoyed their growing awareness. I also noticed that most of us can use those joints every day of our lives even without rudimentary knowledge of how they behave. It is sometimes only when an injury interrupts our routine that we pay close attention. 

 

The girls will be headed to Europe in the fall for college, God willing. It is a widening of their autonomy and is appropriate to young women their age. They can step into the freedom to pick an area of study, and their social group. When they were little I made those choices for them. My granddaughter has little say in such matters, and is blessed by parents who think long and hard about keeping her safe. They decide where she rides her scooter, and what she wears to protect her head. 

 

Relationships are a study in two people trying to both move independently and stay connected. Some ligaments afford greater latitude, others are restrictive. I am glad that my husband does not spend time alone with other women in a way that would put a strain on our trust. He relies on me to not endanger our bond with shaming comments.

 

I can fumble along inside our marriage without a basic understanding of what keeps us connected, or I can make an effort to find out.