A friend was telling me about what she could only call a transformation. There was someone plunked in the middle of her life who was, well, prickly. There was an abundance of justifications for being annoyed, triggered, even angry. But her prayer each morning was to show up with compassion, to look for moments to affirm, even if she had to push aside the weeds to find them. 

 

Gradually the dynamics began to shift. The more she looked for positives, the more frequently she found them. In biting her tongue about the criticisms that begged to be spoken, the other person softened. They released their grip on defensiveness because the threat seemed less poised to pounce. 

 

Months ambled by, as both of them leaned into a different stance. By the time the calendar flipped through an entire year, what began as a forced exercise had become familiar. Easy, in fact. 

 

It is hard to know whether love edged out the frustration, like when someone encroaches on your space in a crowded bus, or whether it was because the crankiness got off at the last stop and love had a chance to sit down.