A friend sent an
article about how to ruin a good thing. When you go to the effort to apologize, resist the urge to sully it with three letters.
But...
It reminds me of that corner of mold on an otherwise appealing bagel, or the black bruise on a ripe avocado. Cut it out or toss it. But don't offer it hoping the recipient won't notice.
A healthy apology has components. Acknowledge the action.
"I kept you waiting."
"The car was out of gas and I promised to fill it."
"You had something you wanted to say and I ran right over your words."
The next right step is to give credence to how it impacted the person you hurt.
"You were disappointed."
"Being late frustrated you."
"You felt ignored when I didn't listen."
Yet there is a knee jerk response that tries to jam its way in right before the person you love had a chance to heal. And forgive you.
"But things were crazy at work."
"But there was a lot on my mind."
"But I was planning to give you time to talk after I was done."
Thanks, but no thanks. Keep your crummy explanation. It is like putting jelly on the moldy bread, or telling the eater to close their eyes while you shove the avocado in.
Silence is far better than trying to con the other person out of their feelings. You messed up. Own it.
