Last fall I added someone to my prayer list. It came out of frustration rather than empathy. Our interactions had been prickly for some time, and I went so far as to ask people wiser than myself for guidance.
"How do you get along with them? Because I am having trouble."
Yet if I peeled back the veneer of helplessness, what I really craved was agreement. If I wasn't the only one, I wouldn't feel like such a victim.
My habit was to collect reasons why I was not at fault for the discomfort. I handed over the responsibility of our relationship to them, and they were falling short.
Then I turned a corner. I held this person in prayer. At first I admit it was plastic prayer.
"Lord, help them not be so ornery."
This was eerily similar to the prayers of my little kids after a tough day.
"Oh, Lord. Please make Mommy nicer tomorrow."
But after a period of listening to myself, it occurred to me that their disposition was not really my business. People are within their rights to be all manner of personalities. If I had any powers in prayer, they were better invested in that broad space within my control. My response. Which is when the quality shifted. I went from being the object to the subject.
"Lord, help me dial back my judgments. Please soften my tendency to take offense too quickly."
It's funny how some prayers on my list hang out day after day with no resolution. Not this one.
