Marriage Moats-Light the Way

Published: Sat, 12/21/19

Light the Way

Caring for Marriage

It is the darkest time of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.

Does that inspire us to cherish the light in a way that an August afternoon does not?

Sometimes I hear of friends who have lost their partner, or their child. The pain falls blacker than the blackest night on earth, reaching deeper into the soul than any luminaria can pierce.

There are no windows into yesterday, to grab through and escape before today arrives with finality.

Except when there are.

My cousin lost her daughter in a car accident, and the inkiness of each moment of every day swallowed her up. She stumbled through the mire, barely able to breath.

Then one day, after many numb ones, her family bought a new computer. She watched through the fog of her brain as they set it up and started to get excited. She started to feel a flicker of happiness too.

But then she blew it out. To feel happiness would be to forget that her child was gone. She could never do that. Then she walked down the hall and past her bedroom, just as a puff of air blew something off her dresser. She picked it up. It was a card that her daughter had made for her months before. There was a dull rainbow and a bright one.

The crayoned words said, "Mom, I know that now you feel like this, but I hope that soon you will feel like this!"

A shaft of light came through the window. She knew that her daughter wanted her to be happy, even in the face of incredible loss.

You may have lost someone whose heart is melded to yours. The pain chases you into every hiding place you scramble into. But there are two things that can find you even in the darkness.

One is a candle.

The other is a warm hand.

Love,
Lori

Photo by Andy Sullivan