There was a time when we got a lot of calls from mothers seeking a babysitter. This was because we had three girls in the market and chances were good that one was available. Each daughter had her favorite families, and came to care about their children. 

 

I am a fan of babysitting, for a triplet of reasons. Mothers need a break. This is the rationale behind my efforts to host events where parents can leave their darlings for a few hours in the care of a team of volunteers.

 

Secondly I believe that the experience of calming and corralling a herd of kids is a crucial life skill. One of my girls texted me eight times during her first job. 

 

"How exactly do you burp a baby?"

 

There is also a benefit for the kids, who find out that teenagers make great trampolines. 

 

My own experience employing sitters to mind my brood taught me that the window of opportunity is narrow. Before twelve their ability to handle more than three kids is iffy. But after fifteen they had not a scrap of free time. My strategy was to reel them in as young as I dared and keep them interested into their over packed junior year.  

 

Every season I invite a gaggle of couples to join a marriage group. I notice that there are common themes in their responses. Or non responses. Those that are newly minted are still floating on tulle and cake, and see no need for support. 

 

Marriages that are settled like an old house's stone foundation can seem unable to change. They stay away not because they are thriving, but because the thought of opening the door is ominous. 

 

I like it when I can lure in two people after the thank you notes are mailed but before miscommunication has a seat at the table.