There was an idea that made the rounds ten years ago. Complaint Free World is a book that rests on an invitation to extract negativity from your life. A friend gave it to me for Christmas, along with the purple bracelet that served as an ever present reminder. The challenge was to go thirty days without complaining, and each time you slipped up you slid the bracelet to the other wrist.
I am currently reading a similar book. The Kindness Challenge narrows the effort to a single person. For a month you have three goals:
1. Say nothing negative to or about them.
2. Express appreciation to them every day, and to someone else about them.
3. Do an act of kindness for them each day.
The notion is to focus on a needy relationship, in the hopes of blessing it. The author, Shaunti Feldhaun, is a researcher and this project was no exception. She surveyed the thousands of people who attended her seminars, and the results were impressive. Ninety per cent reported a positive shift in the relationship.
It isn't surprising. That much altruism is going to effect change, not only in the giver but the receiver.
We have seen it happen. Each time John and I meet with another couple over coffee or in a small group, we invite them to express gratitude for their partner. I can still recall some of the tender messages. One woman described her husband's support as she recovered from surgery. A man told us how much it meant to him that his wife is a devoted mother to their children.
To be honest I have not really engaged with the third of Shaunti's suggestions.
I make supper, and lug laundry from the basement. But I have a hunch that there are other small kindnesses I could explore in my own home. Getting rid of prickles is one tactic. Introducing generosity takes it a step further.
I will get back to you after I find out how it goes.
