Tactics around funding for public roads vary. In California they seem to make a statement in rebuttal to turnpikes back east. Maps designate their thoroughfares as "freeways". I can almost sense the snark. 

 

"You can nickel and dime your travelers, Pennsylvania, but we are generous." Probably their property taxes cover the difference. Who knows. 

 

Over the decades I have chucked loose change into the conical toll booths, hoping they don't ricochet out, forcing me to scramble on the pavement in crazy traffic. Which I confess they did and I have. Other times I have handed crumpled bills to a lonely and most likely underpaid government employee at two a.m. in December. It seemed like a reasonable price to pay for unlimited access to complex travel. John was ferried around Africa at a time when getting from one place to another was much dicier. Dirt streets, huge holes, and no signage made it more of a treasure hunt without the treasure.

 

Then there were the altruistic moments when we paid for the car behind us crossing a bridge, and had the elation of looking back and seeing their surprise. Like while reading that cynical message graffitied across the one in New Jersey. 

 

"Trenton Makes. The World Takes."

 

These days the whole exchange has been converted to a device on the windshield that calibrates your mileage and deducts it painlessly from a registered account. That put a few people out of work, I suppose. It is more efficient, though it tends to create a wide margin between my sense of obligation to highway upkeep and actual potholes. It used to be that I handed over money, and roads got fixed. Made sense. 

 

The other day a friend was musing about his partner's reluctance to acknowledge any efforts to please her. He was willing, eager even, to follow through on multiple daily requests. All he hoped for in return was spoken appreciation. She on the other hand felt like that was a bridge too far. He should do it regardless. 

 

John Gray, author of relationship books as pertain to astronomy, articulated it this way.

 

"Men will do anything for their wives, as long as there is a parade."

 

In the first twenty years of my marriage I didn't understand this. Now I am much more agreeable about tossing in gratitude like spare coins. I wish I could offer it retroactively, but that is water under the bridge.