The other night the twins were out at an event, John was busy working on something, and Ben was hunched over a puzzle. This was my chance to curl up and watch a movie. My phone had her suggestions, and being amenable I clicked on one with name recognition. 

 

A few minutes in it became clear that the main character was leaving her husband. He had done nothing egregious. Their conversations were civil if not animated.  He clearly loved her, and had no idea that she was unhappy. But she refused to take one step in his direction. Within a matter of days she was involved with another man. 

 

I turned it off. 

 

Maybe the writers left out the part about what an absolute jerk he was, but I couldn't get past it. My life is bulging with relationships I am trying to persevere with, and when I drink in stories about casually giving up it erodes my resolve. 

 

The next morning I headed downstairs, as I always do, before anyone else is awake. In the half dark I had a realization. 

 

"My feet are cold. I need socks."

 

There was a mix of both regret that summer is evaporating, and anticipation for a new season. I like my socks. Over the years I have collected ones with Laurel Burch images, Mona Lisa, Starry Night, and bright colors. I haven't thought about them in four months, but unless a burglar broke in last August sleuthing only for footwear, they are waiting in my drawer. 

 

It is not cause for despair that the temperatures are dropping. These cycles are deeply embedded in creation, at least at my latitude, and contribute to a complex system involving rebirth, decay, and growth. Relationships are not immune to such fluctuations. In fact it would be monotonous if they were.

 

I think I will go back to watching my favorite videos. Ones where the mother dog is frantically digging for her trapped puppies, or neighbors have brought in a crane to lift an exhausted Belgian horse out of a swamp, or workmen reach deep into a drain to retrieve a dozen ducklings for their pacing Mallard mama. You know, the creatures who refuse to give up.  

 

Plus I can wear my favorite socks.