Why is it that the pleasant is mixed in with the difficult?

 

Recently I told my girls the story of our proposal, and included the lovely details, like walking by Cairncrest on an autumn afternoon, and our dreamy betrothal on a hill. Yet I did not omit the angst that was part of that week. I had asked my boss in Chicago for a few days off so I could help my father commit my mom to a psychiatric hospital, which he agreed to. I flew to Philly, and it was as you might expect. Awful. She held it together for a small engagement party with six guests.... our parents and us. But in her manic states she leaned into high fat foods, and the table was a curious medley of mayonaise, butter, mixed nuts, and spiced crackers. John's mother was very cordial, if confused. 

 

Yet when I wasn't in distress, I was elated. John had asked me to marry me and I had said yes! This was the opening of our charmed life. Looking back, I am astonished that he did not see the underbelly of my family and run the other way. He always was incredibly kind to my mother. Finding someone who loves you when life is peachy is the stuff of fairy tales. Partnering with someone who holds your hand in the storms in another. 

 

 

We had another rough day with Benjamin. John happened to be home, which was a miracle. It could have been caused by the thunder, but it continued long after skies cleared. I was feeling windblown the next day, and tried to gear up for Ben's dentist appointment. He had never been unruly for them yet, but I was nervous. He was holding his new toothbrush on the way home when I tried to make limp conversation.

 

"The license plate number is 5374. What are the factors?"

 

"1, 2, 2687, and 5374." 

 

Really? No paper and pencil? No calculator hidden in his pocket? Who does that???

 

Apparently Ben does. He was warmed up so I asked another. 

 

"How about 5376?"

 

He took a breath and jumped in.

 

"1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 12, 14, 16, 20, 24, 28, 32, 42, 48, 56, 64, 84, 96, 112, 128, 168, 192, 224, 256, 336, 384, 448, 672, 768, 896, 1344, 1792, 2688 and 5376." 

 

He was not expecting applause but I wanted to. Driving kept me from a standing ovation. 

 

If it had not come on the heels of a weary day I would have been grateful. But in the aftermath of all that turmoil, a word like "happy" doesn't come close.