There was an experiment in which people hit tennis balls into a bucket. One group was instructed to try to get them into the can while the other was simply told to whack them and observe whether or not they went in. 

 

I find it interesting that the second group landed more in than the first. It would be tempting to say that they won, as if the real purpose was identical to that of an NBA playoff. But the actual intent was about learning. The first group was so riveted on the bucket that they missed important information around the interaction of the racket and the ball, the distance, the amount of force, and the arc of their arm. The second group was mindful of those parameters, and, it turns out, dunked a greater number.

 

The friend telling me this compared it to life. We are easily duped by the illusion that various goals are in fact Real, like getting hired for a certain job, or finding your way on a new road. Another person at the table described a recent vacation in which her phone stopped working. 

"What was wrong turned into what was right. Because I was not distracted by my phone, I was more present to what was happening."

 

When we are observant of the conditions around us, whether it is the driver in front of us, or the pressures at work, or the lateness of our partner, we are more free than when we obsess about getting the results we have deemed to be ideal. External factors are and will forever be outside of our control. But internal ones are where we step into choice. 

 

I can respond to a slow car, or a demanding boss, or a tardy husband in any one of a myriad of ways. That is liberty. 

 

John recently went on a trip with Benjamin. He had every intention of getting their bedding, and Ben's medications, and his own suitcase into the car. But when they arrived there was empty space where the black duffel bag should have been. There were options available at that point. Some of them messy, involving anger and blame. But he went a different route. He went shopping. 

 

A basketball game is measured by the number of points, but perhaps the more enduring repercussions have to do with physical strength, teamwork, strategy, and understanding your part in a complex system. These attributes last long after the stats have been forgotten, and play into the personal growth of the person who no longer holds the ball.