It was only a brief part of the overall plot. In the context of a forty five minute show it took up maybe thirty seconds. A recent episode of Madame Secretary began with a few marks on Elizabeth's face that were not really explained. In the course of her day we find out that she had skin samples removed by her dermatologist. Neither is she concerned, nor is she self conscious about it. Which is another thing I appreciate about her. Like most women on screen, Elizabeth has a perfect complexion, and that unspoken fact can widen the divide between The Perfect Life and My Life. 

 

Before the credits there was a message about the prevalence of skin cancer, and how a once over with a doctor can save your skin. No shoulds or shames. Just an invitation.

 

As chance would have it both John and I went to our dermatologist last week. I say ours, as if we have some measure of ownership. But it was our initial visit, and I cannot even remember his name. Still the message got through to me last month that such measures are in fact prudent, so I called. I am impressed that the producers of Madame Secretary chose to reinforce that notion as well, in such a non threatening and subtle way. Not a big deal. Just get checked. 

 

One of the side effects of small groups, and mentoring, is that people get a tad more comfortable with talking about their relationships. Not because of an emergency, but just to chat. We routinely begin our time with what we call check ins, which are merely a space in which to speak without interruption. 

 

When we meet monthly with another young couple, it is only one hour out of seven hundred and twenty. Unless it is February, in which case it is six hundred seventy two. Groups are more of a commitment, averaging two out of a hundred and sixty eight. 

 

Being in the conversation about how we treat one another helps to lessen the divide between what we imagine is happening at someone else's house, and the blemishes that show up in our own.