Marriage Moats-Out of Reach
Published: Sat, 12/01/18
| Out of Reach | Caring for Marriage |
 Photo by Jenny Stein
This child wants to grab the rings, but her arms are too short. I cannot see her face in the photo but I am willing to bet she is looking at those circles with wide eyes. Maybe she is even howling to her mom to lift her up. Perhaps her eyebrows are punctuating the effort, or her voice is laced with determination. She is not sure if she can do it.
But even though her fingers have not yet closed around the curves, something important is happening. She is reaching. If there is a thermometer for longing, her temperature is going up each second she stretches.
Actually something ends when she does lock her hands around the rings. She stops working. Which serves her more, getting there or wanting to get there? If she did have one of those moms who doesn't like to see her daughter frustrated, and lifted her up before she even asked, would it be worth shouting about?
Pictures in magazines of couples strolling along the beach can portray the idea of marriage as a goal you latch on to. Certainly there are no beads of sweat on their foreheads. They are relaxed, because they have arrived.
But my marriage is not so boring as that. It is rampant with effort, and suspense. I am not sure if I can really do it. Each day asks me to stretch my compassion a little more, reach deeper for patience. If I believed that John and I were magazine material I would not waste any adrenalin on curbing my tongue. The fact that I am not already holding a perfect marriage in my hands forces me to keep looking toward it.
Maybe that is why my Mother never boosted me up prematurely. She wanted my wanting to grow.
“Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I who took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.” Hosea 11
Love, Lori |
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