Marriage Moats-Focus

Published: Sat, 11/03/18

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I remember in third grade learning that you could show perspective by making things smaller and higher and fuzzier. Things close up are bigger and lower and clearer. I thought it was a pretty tricky method to convey depth and distance on a flat piece of paper.

As a grown up I think it is cool in another way. Sometimes I find myself looking off into my future. It can be in a glance-at-the-road-ahead-to-make-sure-I-am-still-on-it sort of way, or it can morph into anxiety about how will John and I deal with things next year or next decade.

Once in a spiritual growth group a woman mentioned her tendency to always think about the thing she was about to do instead of what she was doing now. She felt like she was missing the enjoyment of the moment. She would be at the post office with her little boy who was completely absorbed in the magic of opening the mailbox with a key, yet she was planning the next errand to the grocery store. Then when they got to the store he would be enthralled with all the piles of apples and peaches and grapes, but she would be tossing things in her cart while she thought about getting to the school in time to pick up her older son. Then she would be there at car pick up, her little boy bubbling with excitement to see his brother, but she was already intent on what to start for supper.

I suspect there is a reason that this fence gets out of focus and smaller. I think I am supposed to be aware of my future, peripherally, but I am better off keeping my eyes on the fence post right next to me.

People who trust in God are altogether different. Even if they have concern for tomorrow, they do not have it, because their thoughts about the next day are free of worry, let alone anxiety. They remain even-tempered whether or not they attain their desires, do not grieve when they lose them, and are content with their lot. If they grow rich they do not fall in love with their wealth. If they rise to high position they do not consider themselves worthier than others. If they become poor they still do not become depressed. If they lose status their hearts are not cast down. They know that for those who trust in God all things are moving towards everlasting happiness, and that no matter what happens at any time to them, it contributes to that happiness.

Secrets of Heaven 8478, Emanuel Swedenborg

Photo by Chara Smith