Last week I went to the place of Benjamin's internship for a parental meeting. The previous time I drove there it was with my adrenaline surging, because I had forgotten to give him his morning pills, and I believed that a catastrophe was inevitable. Somehow I found the right door out of dozens, and managed to locate Ben in a complex of thousands of employees. This time was different. I had an appointment, and was given instructions about where to go. I was calm and could take a moment to appreciate my surroundings. 

His supervisor took us to a cubicle where we met with two of his mentors. They explained what he does, and how he is learning the routine. It turns out he is doing fine. 

"Sometimes he does get irritated when there is a long line for the microwave at lunch. We need to practice patience, right Ben?" she coached. 

"I could pack him things that don't need to get heated up, like a sandwich." The cat was out of the bag about who fills it. She looked at me, and did not say anything but her eyebrows went up. 

"Ben should be making his own decisions. This year is about him learning independence." She smiled, to soften the reprimand. 

I decided not to mention that I also make his breakfast. He will be twenty one in January, but, you know. Habit. 

"There have been a few times when his phone was not charged and we could not reach him in the building."

"I forgot to charge it last Friday. Sorry."

She exhaled just a bit. "Ben, can you try to remember to plug your phone in at night?"

Driving home I realized that she is creating circumstances in which Ben can grow. Take responsibility, in small chunks. There are aspects of his life that are not my job. They are his. 

I turned up the music in the car, and took a moment to enjoy the bright fall landscape. A few trees were following their clarion call to color, demonstrating the irrefutable tribute to change. It reminded me of what a wise man told me about my own life. 

"God is in charge, not you. There's no need to grab the job away from him."

Not that I actually could anyway. But I sure lose energy trying.