There was such hoopla over my birthday last year, I wanted to be low profile this time around. Already the inequity of what my kids and John did for mine vs. what I provided for theirs was embarrassing. The extravagant attention from turning sixty will last at least until retirement. Not that such an arbitrary age marks the end of my true career, which is motherhood. Still it will coincide with the girls turning twenty one, so I guess I can hang up my....

There have been holidays when I expected John to make a fuss, and others when it was fine that it slid by with no fanfare. This would not be a problem, except that I never warn him ahead of time. I rely on mind reading which we all know is sketchy. As it turned out there were sunny sunflowers for me at the office, and the lunch at my favorite bakery was complimentary. That felt pretty sweet. 

Many evenings during the school year I pull off nice dinners. Things look balanced on the plate, and even colorful. But there are other six o'clocks that arrive with more simplicity than pizzaz. The family is tolerant of this vacillation in meal prep, yet I wonder if they would benefit from knowing what will or will not be forthcoming.

The reality is, I am inconsistent. There have been chapters in our marriage when I stayed on top of laundry. I took pride in multiple piles of clean clothes. But there have also been eras when the basement felt too far away. 

It would not be a difficult fix. Just give the locals a heads up about my plans. But then again, sometimes even my best intentions don't always materialize. Maybe there is an app for it. Similarly to how people can look up the predictions around weather for the next few days, I could provide a chart about the likelihood of three course meals and fresh towels.

But who am I kidding? If I am not energetic enough to cook pasta what are the chances that I will create a graph about supper?

It's astonishing that they are as forgiving as they are.