I googled wife nagging and was flabbergasted. This condition is alive and well and causing harm across the continent, at least if I can believe the sheer volume of a million plus results in half a second.

 

Why do people nag? If stereotypes are any indication, it is a lopsided foible. Men are not as oft charged with that particular tendency. John has explained to me about how nagging targets the Achilles heel of the masculine gender. Shame is more abhorrent to a man than mortal danger, as exemplified by the motto "Death before dishonor." 

 

Women experience fear in the same part of their brains that responds to pain. Men register shame in the same part of their brains that reacts to pain. That is the premise of a book by Stosny and Love. This small tidbit of information has influenced my marriage. I had a physiological reason to keep my mouth shut. 

 

I suppose the shift came when I began to picture the effects of whacking him in the throat. I was repelled by the idea, because his neck is vital. It deserves to be protected from assault. Apparently he is vulnerable in an area not so easily isolated: his self respect. If I can keep my hands from going after his soft spots, I can learn to harness my tongue from nagging. 

 

 

 

Photo by Jenny Stein

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