Today is a milestone. Benjamin is fifteen. Compiling the joys and heartaches crammed into that span of time would be harder than braiding the tentacles of an octopus, if only because eight is not divisible by three.

 

There are details I can rattle off.

 

But there is not a particle of doubt that he has enlarged our hearts. I know because of the growing pains in my chest. Is fifteen years too long a time to invest in a difficult relationship? Doesn't feel that way looking over my shoulder.

 

Marriage is occasionally a mixed bag. Perhaps you have your own list of travesties and frustrations that hold you back from celebrating. Maybe the script you had written for your own partnership was a good one: compatible people, gorgeous kids who excel, ample funds, satisfying career, optimal health. More than likely your life is playing out differently. I think that tendency is less of an indication that God could not tweak the details, than it is a harbinger that He has higher aspirations in mind for you than usually show up in a no conflict novel.

 

Benjamin's life is not over. Neither is his impact on mine. My marriage, too, is still unfolding.

 

I guess I will keep reading. 

 

 

 

Photo by Jenny Stein

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