Marriage Moats-Milkweed

Published: Fri, 01/18/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

After Christmas I experienced a thud. I had mailed a gift to someone and did not hear anything back. I started to stew about it, wondering if it was lost in transit. I began to wish I had not been generous. Why didn't this person even say thank you?

Then I remembered. I had gotten a generous gift card in the pile of ribboned parcels on the last day of school before vacation. Either it had borne no name, or it was inadvertently separated from its identifying envelope. In any case I did not know the name of my benefactor. Was she sitting in her own kitchen stewing about my ungrateful silence? I tried to cast a net of thanks to the wind, but it seemed a bit thin.

The other day a friend told me about a health problem she is facing. The pain surges enough that she took a day off of work. Blush. When was the last time I expressed gratitude for my functional body? It does not slip off my lips as I am rushing out the door.

"Thanks, God, for the pain free morning!"

Surprisingly, He has not gotten huffy and retracted the gift.

One of the miraculous qualities of a milkweed pod is its disregard for accounting. The slender case cracks open, birthing its winged velvet seeds with abandon. There is no record of how many are launched, or where they fly. If even a portion of the little promises of new life find fertile ground the plant is happy.

It can be tempting in a close relationship like marriage to expect reciprocation. The words have certainly hovered in my mouth.

"Say thank you! See what I did for you???"

But then my mind wafts back to the meadow, where I witnessed generosity with no thud.

Photo by Brita Conroy

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