Marriage Moats-Personal Message

Published: Sat, 01/19/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Every morning I unlock my phone, go to the spam filter and pluck out the daily moat I wrote and queued the night before. I move it to my inbox and watch the tiny envelope do a swan dive. Then I switch back to my inbox, and forward the rescued email to the half dozen folks whose overzealous filters routinely obliterate marriage moats as if they were a sleazy promo for dubious prescriptions. This takes about twelve seconds.

What I have noticed over the months I have been doing this, is the prevalence of messages rightly marooned in spam that begin with the plea, ".... has sent you a personal message."

What is it about those six words that a plethora of miscreants choose it as a decoy? Is that the irresistible communique we are all drawn to? Someone, anyone, has sent us a personal message. It is ok if I don't actually know you. The point is that you know me.

We crave to be seen, to connect, to the point that the most cruel punishment yet created is solitary confinement. Isolation is fuel for violence, and depression. People have varying appetites for social interaction, but all of us need to be included. Even Benjamin, whose diagnosis of autism stems from the word for self, wants to be heard. By someone.

This would be a problem if the system were not designed to be reciprocal.

Prayer of St. Francis

Oh Divine Master,
grant that I might see,
not so much to be consoled
as to console.

To be understood
as to understand
Not so much to be loved
as to love another.

For it is in giving
that we now receive
it is in pardoning
that we are now pardoned
and it is in dying
that we
are now born again

And Lord, make me an instrument
of Your peace.
Where there is hatred
let me bring Your love

Photo by Jenny Stein

you can support us at