Marriage Moats-The Tiger and the Girl

Published: Mon, 01/14/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

They regarded each other. The tiger and the small girl were only a yawn apart. Neither of them spoke, but that didn't seem to matter.

Sometimes I think that I am part tiger, part little girl. I can growl with the best of them, and even pounce. Other times I feel vulnerable and naive.

I have a framed print in my bathroom that says "There is nothing so strong as gentleness, nor so gentle as true strength." How can I bring those two qualities across the glass divide?

Today in church the minister talked about when Sampson killed the lion with his bare hands. He described the powerful forces that emerge in us that can hurt people, like the need to be right. He handed out paper lions and invited us to inscribe them with what shows up in our relationships that causes hurt. I wrote down two, one on the lion's head and one on his brawny shoulders.

Blame and Expecting people to do things my way.

Then we ripped them up with our bare hands. As a reminder of the story he gave each of us a honey stick. When Sampson killed the lion, a colony of bees filled the carcass with honey. This is a picture of the sweetness that can emerge when we let our need to control people die.

I did not have to wait long to practice. John and I were leading music, and I wanted him to pass out the song we were teaching before the service, and have it waiting on the chairs. But he was running late and handed them out during the service.

How about that. It didn't go the way I planned. No need to show my teeth.

After church I got an email from a friend saying she would not be doing what I expected her to. Breath. It was nothing personal, it just didn't work for her. Let go of the blame.

Later in the afternoon Zack saw I was working on the computer without being plugged in. Quietly he fetched the power cord and set me up. How sweet. John stopped by on the way home from barbershop and bought ice cream. Definitely delicious.

Maybe gentleness is within reach after all.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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