Marriage Moats-Housekeeping by Basketry

Published: Sat, 01/12/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I like baskets. My kids make fun of me, when we traipse into a thrift store and I snag a few interesting ones.

"Really need those baskets, Mom? Only got fifty already."

But I have a strategy.

When there are a slew of papers on the coffee table, or a hump of fabric on the counter, it looks messy. A pyramid of napkins in the dining room looks unkempt. A mountain of dirty underwear in the bathroom is unsightly. A popcorn of tissues on the floor is deplorable.

But put them in a basket, and all is right with the world.

The basket contains the motley collection in a kind of embrace. It is a promise that the trash will eventually be ushered to the bins, the clothes will be ferried to the basement. The armful of fabric is an invitation to be creative. The woven reeds are a container for what would otherwise be out of place.

"I belong on this table. The lady put me here for safekeeping."

I need a basket for my marriage. There are issues that I fling on the floor at John's feet, like the college tuition bill I shoved under his nose this morning as he was dressing for work. Not the perfect time, but I did it. He was not amused.

I suppose a marriage basket could look like a Saturday afternoon stroll in the woods, or a business like meeting over coffee and receipts. It needs to be woven together by both agreement and design.

"Can we talk about the finances this weekend? Friday night works for you? I will make muffins. Thanks. Until then, mwwaa."

"Is there an hour when we can plan about our vacation this summer? Sunday after church? We could rent the kids a movie and cuddle on the couch while we brainstorm. I want to hear what you have to say, and learn from past mistakes."

Tissues are still tissues, on the carpet or in the can. Issues are still issues, tossed across the house or handled carefully with love.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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