Marriage Moats-White or Colored?

Published: Mon, 12/31/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Here is a delightful story from a friend about how they resolved a perennial difference of opinion.

For most of the 39 years we have had Christmas trees they have been festooned with colored lights. I have not so secretly wished to have white lights and the year before last, with the kids mostly moved out, gratified that wish, gave the colored strands to my son and his wife, and bought white lights for our tree. As with many things we think we want, they turned out not to be quite as expected. The "delicate twinkling stars" were actually disturbing LED spot lights overpowering the glitter of our much-loved ornaments. After an agitated search I found a dimmer device on Amazon and was satisfied with the results. Not everyone in the house felt the same way. I noticed that several of the bulbs got painted red, blue and green in protest. This year we put up our tree a couple of weeks ahead of Christmas, wound it with the lights and waited to do the rest of the decorating until our youngest daughter came home from college. She returned and that night after we had hung the ornaments on the tree and cleared away the boxes, I sat down peacefully on the couch to admire our handiwork. Our daughter turned off the room lights and climbed behind the tree to plug in its lights. Oh such lovely little stars reflected in the glass ornaments! My husband's voice came quietly from across the room, "I sort of miss the colored lights...." The white stars blinked off briefly and the tree glowed red, green, blue, yellow and pink. I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks! Our girl had planned this sabotage for weeks! What a wonderfully easy solution to the rivalry between the white/colored lights camps! Now depending on who comes into the room first our tree changes back and forth from formal to parti-colored like Sleeping Beauty's dress in the Disney cartoon. If only I could come up with such a simple and satisfying solution to any rivalry that occurs under our roof.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

you can support us at