Marriage Moats-New Year

Published: Sun, 12/30/12


Marriage Moats Caring for Marriage

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The pull is strong.
 
Tomorrow is the end of the year and a good time time to trade in obsolete practices for more effective ones. My confidence wobbles, however, in the memory of past failures. I declared my intention to take one hundred walks with John last summer. I think we made it to twelve. I planted fourteen varieties of seeds last spring, and never picked an edible vegetable. The plot still snickers at me when I pass.
 
One of my favorite books this year is Praying for Strangers, in which the author decides to pray for someone new each day. She trusts that God will help her out in the choosing part, as well as follow up in answering the prayers. All she has to do is be the link.  The stories are concise, a four minute conversation in the check out line, or at a parking garage. The author, whose name is conveniently River Jordan, feels a tug toward a waitress who seems frazzled, or a little boy whose mother is yelling at him. Then she pauses in her own routine long enough to let in the compassion that is the inevitable byproduct of praying for others. Sometimes she bridges the divide by speaking, asking if there is anything they especially hope for, that she might include it in her petition that night. This is an opening for people to voice their longings, and fears.
 
"My mother is having heart surgery tomorrow. Please pray for her."
 
"I am out of work and today I have an interview. Pray that I get the job. I need it."
 
"Just this morning I was asking God if there was anyone in this whole world who cared about me!"
 
Something essential happens inside of a person when they ask for help. They connect to their own vulnerability, and to the reality of needing each other. It also focuses your attention, as you wait for an answer.
 
God is continually caring for us, protecting us, steering us clear of danger. But we have trouble feeling grateful, or loved, because we cannot easily see what didn't happen.  When we find the words to encompass our wishes, it clears away some of the clutter and puts a frame around our answer when it arrives. 
 
This year my resolution is to pray for one marriage every day. Maybe yours. I will hold each couple in my attention, perhaps singing, maybe after having seen you driving by. For those of you who have not yet walked up the aisle, my prayer will be for clarity in making that choice. My prayer will be for blessings, and guidance. If it happens that I know more than the bare bones of your life I will pray for wisdom to flow into the cracks of your relationship. 
 
And if you like the idea, you can point those prayers in a direction. 
 
"Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive. Do not be afraid, only believe." Matthew 21
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Photo by Jenny Stein
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