Marriage Moats-I Forget

Published: Tue, 12/18/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

There is a man named Jeff who has a rare form of amnesia. It is called dissociative fugue, and it causes his memory to reset. Three times he has abruptly forgotten who he is and where he lives. He also forgot his wife, Penny. One time he woke up in Denver, with no idea of how he got there or where he belonged. He found a way to get on national television and ask America if anyone knew who he was. Penny called the police in Denver and found him.

"This is Penny. You belong with me."

She has stood by him through these heart wrenching episodes, and welcomed him home. He is afraid of losing his memory again, but she reassures him.

"I will be your memory."

I have never yet forgotten my own name, or my hometown. But I have on many occasions lost track of my feelings, and my resolve. I can yank up the shreds of remembrance that I chose this life of diapers and lost sleep, stale conversations and endless repetition. But the pieces do not hold together like they once did. They feel like leftovers from a meal that fed me yesterday, but now is unappetizing and cold.

There are passages in the Bible about leftovers.

It shall come to pass in that day that the Lord shall set His hand again the second time to recover the remnant of His people who are left, from Assyria and Egypt, from Pathros and Cush, from Elam and Shinar, from Hamath and the islands of the sea. Isaiah 11

Leftovers. Sometimes it is all there is. But it can be enough to stave away the hunger.

Sometimes people forget that they love each other. This is not a fatal condition. It is as perennial as falling leaves and shed cocoons.

We have calendars and almanacs to remind us that weather is cyclical. Young children are not always privy to this, and may grieve the loss of summer as if they will never run barefoot again. But mothers smile, and reassure them that after the pumpkins, and the Christmas tree, after the chocolate hearts and puddles, summer will come rolling back.

"Are you sure?" the little girl asks while her mother turns out the light.

"I am sure, little one. Good night."

Photo by Kat Gatti

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