Marriage Moats-Sandy

Published: Thu, 11/01/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

The last few weeks have had a divisive edge to them. Political differences can slam a conversation down faster than I can hang up on a Vacation Specialist. It would be dicey to find a dozen people on one street willing to string together for a cohesive cause.

But Sandy changed that. Total strangers and neighbors alike have been showing up with boats, generators, supplies and plastic tarps.

"Never mind your name, or your party. Here's a rope. Jump in."

"Hungry? Here are granola bars. Need a shower? Come over."

How is it that an entire coast can switch modes from We/They to Us? Maybe it has to do with urgency.

I suppose ER personnel are used to it. They sharpen their scalpels and thread suturing needles long before the formal introductions. Names are after all less relevant than blood types and allergies to penicillin.

"Never mind your candidate. Where does it hurt?"

I will admit that the days leading up to Sandy's arrival had me in turmoil. The roiling anxiety was fed by my mother's apartment having being flooded... twice... my knee jerk reaction to danger (fear) and the uncertainty of the colliding elements of power, pine trees, and smashed roofs. I was a mess.

John knows this about me. Rather than try to apply a tourniquet of logic to my hemorrhaging emotions, he brought me warm soup and a hug.

I find it a major miracle that a nation that only last week had a million lacerations across party lines, now is tugged closer by the numberless threads of kindness, heroism and dogged commitment.

And all the complaints I had accumulated about John have been washed away by chowder.

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