Marriage Moats-Sponsors

Published: Tue, 11/06/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Last week when the power was out for millions of people we were pretty consumed with staying warm. Meals became a drudgery of pawing through the dark refrigerator to find those hardy specimens that had survived the thaw. It is ironic that the milk and ice cream were too warm while we were too cold. Couldn't some scientist find a way to redistribute joules in an emergency? Back when I thought about issues more lofty than moldy bread I heard a story on the radio about government funding for research on the effects of Dandy-Walker syndrome. Really? No disrespect intended but who channels funds for an obscure disease that sounds like hard liquor rather than the habitable temperature for the entire population of six states after a hurricane?

At night we piled more logs on the fire, and buttoned up our coats. We played Monopoly and sang songs by candlelight. When the skies cleared there was no structural damage to our house. We were lucky. But our spirits were wont to sag.

Since we were charging our phones at the office we could still make calls. On day three of the siege I got a text.

"I have power. Do you? Want to come over to get warm?" My heart rate increased.

"No we don't. It is pretty nippy here." We bantered back and forth a few times, and the sender realized that I was not the person she had originally intended to contact. Too late. Even cold people still obey rules of social etiquette.

"Can I take you out for lunch?" Perhaps she was hoping I was busy chopping wood, but she had already clicked send.

"YES!!"

Over warm soup we chatted about husbands and kids. I stayed longer than I had intended, and John texted that it was getting hard to contain Benjamin, or more specifically Benjamin's voice, in his office. When was I coming back???

As she paid the check my friend mused out loud.

"Maybe everyone with power should sponsor one family without. Let them do laundry, and feed them dinner."

It was a stellar idea, really.

Less than twenty four hours later I was the one reaching out. A woman with a fever and three kids called in tears. I tossed pasta and juice in a bag and went over. I listened to her discouragement and held her baby. When I left I had a basket of dirty clothes under my arm.

It doesn't take a federal grant to know that helping another couple experiencing arctic winds is a good use of your energy. What's more I will remember that lunch hour more keenly than the whole blurry day surrounding it.

Photo by Kat Gatti

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