I get it. When you are orating to a crowd of a few million, whose knee jerk reaction is to dissect your every remark with biting disdain, it is tempting to use the reprieve afforded by your adversary's turn to construe your next rebuttal. This is incompatible with genuine listening however. 

 

If I ran the circus I would employ a structure of mirroring. 

 

"Governor Romney, do I understand you to say you would not raise taxes? I would like to hear more."

 

"Mr. President, I gather that you intend to help close the deficit by targeting medical fraud. Is that correct?"

 

Of course the goal is not to bait the other man into a verbal bear trap, but rather to actually comprehend his meaning. I suppose I am an airy fairy idealist. But I have seen miracles in my brief lifetime.

Listening is not simply a chance to collect ammunition. It is an opportunity to step off your own soap box, walk around the corner and look at life from another direction. I am still clutching the belief that both candidates have the welfare of our country in mind.

 

There are scads of twitterers and political analysts tossing commentary about the body language, eye contact, and accuracy of both candidates. People are awash with opinions, critiques and satire about what was said.

 

But I wonder.

 

How many of us can navigate the debates in our own living rooms, over small scale issues like the credit card bill and plumbing without raising our voices or barbing the edges of our diatribe? Before I pass judgment on two men on a stage in Denver, I need to clean up the snarl inside my own four walls.

 

I do cling to the belief that John and I have the welfare of our marriage in mind. 

 

 

 

Photo by Jay Buss

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