Marriage Moats-Sixth Intelligence
Published: Tue, 09/11/12
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage | ||||
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 This morning Benjamin woke up and used our bathroom, leaving the light on, and went downstairs to sing. With gusto. It was five a.m. John dragged out of bed and asked him to be quiet because people were trying to sleep.
"I don't care!"
Seeing life from other people's viewpoint has never been his forte. Unfortunately.
When I was a teenager my mother went on a diet. She was trying to avoid sweets, and stopped buying them. But I liked ice cream and one day I bought two cartons. I was indulging in a bowl full when she came in with a furrowed expression. "Didn't I tell you I was trying to keep it out of the house?" she scolded.
"You don't have to eat it. But I can." My egocentricity makes me cringe these forty years later.
There was a time when one of our kids was struggling with pilfering loose money. Coupled with the fact that John and I have a tendency to leave it lying on our dressers it was a struggle for him. I thought the onus was all on him to stop stealing. But one day he asked for my help.
"Could you please not leave money lying around?" I was surprised. He needed my help and it had not yet occurred to me to give it. John and I went to a Smart Marriages Conference that was held in a swanky hotel. Conference participants were the majority of the guests on Thursday and Friday but on Saturday night there was a high school reunion in another part of the hotel. I was jolted to see the change in dress code. Although I had not realized it, people who value healthy relationships often chose modest attire. For two and a half days I had not noticed cleavage or thighs. But on Saturday night women were falling out of low cut dresses and men were having trouble keeping their eyes on faces.
It has taken me half a lifetime to realize that shunning adultery is a two gender job.
Photo by Chara Odhner
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