Yesterday a friend took me out to lunch for my birthday, and as we were chatting a woman walked by our table. I asked if she had gotten the pillows I sewed for her classroom. I was, I admit, fishing for a thank you which was not forthcoming in the highly descriptive monologue about her renovations. Oh well. As my friend and I finished up she picked up my dishes too.

 

"Thank you for lunch!" I hastily tacked on to a lovely hour of conversation. Had I already thanked her? I was unsure.

 

I was reviewing six months of bills, expecting to find extravagance with John's name on it. But what I noticed with some chagrin was a parade of splurges to the fabric store. Embarrassing. I resolved to curb the spending, and made no observation to John about his purchases. 

 

I checked Facebook for a minute or two before tackling dishes. A friend had posted one of her signature complaints about life. Why is she always so negative? 

 

John has a name for finding faults in other people. He calls it the three finger rule. Whenever we aim an accusatory pointer at someone else there are three fingers jutting back in our own direction.

 

I am in the beginning stages of gratitude to people who demonstrate irksome qualities. It enables me to look in the mirror and make a different choice. 

 

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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