Marriage Moats-Volcanoes and Earthquakes

Published: Fri, 08/24/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

The feelings had been building up. I squeezed them down my throat and clenched my mouth. A disappointment yesterday, a misunderstanding last night, a criticism the day before. But then I started watching a show that a friend had recommended. The plot included the harsh treatment of a person with a disability. Having been aware of people staring at my own misfit son earlier in the day I snapped the computer shut.

The pain inside was roiling. But I was not going to cry.

John had been part of the build up. He apologized. I stayed clamped. He tried to coax me to talk but it felt too scary to open my mouth. Who could predict what would erupt?

"Would you like to watch something else? Something that won't make you sad?" he suggested.

I nodded, looking straight ahead. He scrolled through dozens of movies titles but none of them seemed right. He knows what kind of morals I like to see and they just don't show up in current screenplays.

"How about a National Geographic about weather?" he offered timidly.

"Okay." I gulped.

My breathing was ragged as we looked at scientists chasing after black twisters, toppled buildings and computer generated images of magma swelling a thousand feet below the surface. All three phenomenon, tornadoes, volcanoes and earthquakes, are the culmination of built up pressure. Even when the force lies dormant and invisible the potential for damage increases.

Watching the footage was cathartic. When John tried again to invite me to talk the words came, not in a whirlwind but in short bursts. It did not blow him out of the room.

My breathing slowed and there was no permanent damage. He was as brave as any meteorologist on a smoking mountain in the South Pacific, or a Kansas prairie in July.

Photo by Rhys Asplundh

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