I have known for awhile that men are about as comfortable with shame as a dangling worm is in an aviary. The vulnerability factor is debilitating. But frankly it was just words. I had trouble comprehending, because I have never been a worm in an aviary. 

 

Last week a man told me that he would rather have his eyes singed with hot pokers than to be humiliated in public. That got my full and complete attention. Although my eyes are intact, I have been burned.

 

A few years ago a prominent speaker at the Smart Marriage Conference, whose name is conveniently Dr. Love, told a joke at her husband's expense to an audience of two thousand people. I remember cringing at the time. It unleashed a hoot, but I wondered about the cost. She wrote the book Working on Your Marriage Without Talking About It. It is a helpful book but I think she might have taken her own advice.

 

I know that I used to guffaw with the rest of them at hubby humor. But my sensors are now set to a very low tolerance. The other day I heard a woman belittle her husband and then laugh. I did not join her amusement.

 

In pondering the counterpoint of sensitivity for women I see several options. Perhaps it is her physical appearance. To demean a woman for her body is to ignite a potential for self injury where everyone loses.