The other day we went out for lunch with a couple we love. It was a friendly hour, chatting about our lives. 

Then they looked at each other as if on cue.

 

"Shall we ask about... you know...?"

 

They launched into a conflict about how to spend their next anniversary. Should it be an international venture, or one closer to home? Should they leave the kids for a shorter time, or splurge for two weeks? She laid down her case for long and far, like bricks in the path. Then he gave his well laid rationale for short and close. I think they wanted us to vote. I was not sure if that would require us to donate to the trip.

 

We listened and tried to reflect their heart felt motivations. But we did not take sides. 

 

Recently I found a chart called the Third Side of Conflict. It unravels the ways we can place a transitional energy between two diverging sides. There are mediators, peacekeepers, witnesses, bridge builders. It reminds me of what little I know about connective tissue, that enables my forearm to swivel up while my upper arm points down, without becoming dismembered. 

What I became aware of as they were speaking, was the love between the two of them. They were in perfect agreement that they were eager to spend time together. Their love shone over every choice. 

 

Together close

Together far

Together long

Together short

 

I don't know how they will celebrate their next milestone. But I rejoice that they will do it together. 

 

I think I will send a donation.