Marriage Moats- Twins

Published: Sun, 07/08/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

Recently I heard that two couples I love are expecting twins. There was a surge of exuberance from dozens of people, a twining of congratulations, joy, and anticipation.

I doubt that it is a secret to any of those well wishers that a pair of babies at once can be overwhelming. There were times I stumbled up the stairs with a wailing infant in each arm, slogging through the avalanche of laundry and wondering if any of us would survive. It was an intense year, or shall I make that three?

We flew across the country when they were not quite out of diapers and the caravan of car seats, strollers, back packs and paraphernalia would have rivaled the entourage of an Arabian prince. Lugging groceries for the eleven people living under our roof with immobile babies in snow suits was exhausting. Nursing kept me in the rocking chair for chunks of every day for four years, which meant that the other six kids were left on auto pilot far too much. My mother had moved in with us, and her manic episodes swirled around us like a storm. Their older brother was both autistic and non verbal, with a dose of wanderlust, so my internal alarm for knowing where three children were at all times was set for vigilant.

But I recall this with a scrim of distance between the memory and today. I can with concerted effort conjure up the feelings. But it is like trying to see one fallen tree in a lush hardwood forest. The beauty calls with a sweeter sound than the whining, and I had material for whining.

Three years of mind blistering hard. True. But seven sweet years of sisterhood since have swallowed up the pain, with many more beckoning in front of us.

Marriage has a reputation for taxing the participants. For some the struggle drones on for ages. But no matter how long a triplet, or a score of years painted with angst feels when you are in it, it has negligible power to whittle away the pleasure of eternity.

Photo by Lori Odhner

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