Marriage Moats-Touching

Published: Sun, 07/22/18

Touching

Caring for Marriage

Photo by Jenny Stein

What is it about touching?

The other day one of the girls French braided her twin's hair. They explore styles like ropes, and up dos when things get fancy. It has been a long time since they relied on me to brush their hair. I recall one time when it felt a little painful as I tugged at the snarls, and they reached out for each other, just like these tendrils. That simple connection helped them to withstand the pain. Wrapped up inside each other's arms, the brushing was endurable.

I read a story about twins who were born prematurely. The tiny girl was healthy. She could breathe on her own and her heart rate was stable. But her brother was struggling. The nurses were doing all their fancy tricks to keep his body temperature up, his oxygen levels high, the germs at bay. But he was still floundering. Then, when no one was looking, his sister managed to hurl her four inch arm across his back. The beeping machines settled down. He was calm. The embrace of the person who had shared a womb with him was enough to make life in this foreign land safe.

Recently a woman called seeking ideas for how to reconnect with her husband. She felt like the distance between them was growing. Plus it was cold. I suggested that she try the subtlety of skin.

"I don't mean hugging, if that feels awkward. Just bump up against him in the kitchen. Brush shoulders as you pass. Accidentally put your hand on his when you reach for the ketchup."

She was skeptical but she tried it. It made a difference.

Touch each other. You have the power in your fingers to make the people you love feel familiar. The warmth of the person with whom you are sharing this journey is sometimes just what you need.

Love,
Lori