There was a proposal in my inbox last week. 

"I want merry with you."

Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions. Maybe he simply wanted to come to my next Christmas party. The website www.caringformarriage.org attracts people, alright, men, from parts of the world where wives are collected without much scrutiny. I mean there is not even a photo of me nor any mention of my age, nor my abilities in the kitchen all of which could have dimmed his bright eagerness. 

I did not respond, and probably he unsubscribed to my stories. Not really his cup of tea. Or Jeelab. 

It would be difficult for me to really understand the culture of matrimony in parts of the world I have never been to. I can read novels, or watch documentaries I suppose, but living it is something else entirely. 

There is a movie called Arranged about a Muslim woman named Nasira and an Orthodox Jew named Rochel who become friends. They are both deeply religious, and committed to following their faith traditions. As first year teachers they land in the same school, and their principal is critical of their modesty and compliance to what she sees as patriarchal and oppressive systems. This surprisingly creates a bond of friendship between the women, which leads to mutual respect even in the face of conflictual religions. Rochel goes so far as to visit Nasira in her home, which is highly offensive to their mothers. 

Since they are each of marriageable age, their parents are churning through the traditional matchmaking process to find each of them a husband. They want to comply, but the first prospects are either old, or awkward, or self absorbed. They trust deeply in God as they know him, and want to be faithful to their families, but they also aspire to have love.  

I was very touched by the film, and how it portrayed both their innocence and inner strength. I won't spoil the ending for you except to say that it was merry.