Mentoring has been around since Jesus walked the earth. The disciples wanted to learn how to minister, and the Lord invited them to follow Him, listen to Him, break bread with Him. In this way they came to understand Christianity.

I am a big fan of marriage education. A few weeks ago I attended a training put on by the Gottman Institute. I have shelves of books ready to be lent out. John and I host small groups where couples learn communication skills, and the conference each year offered a dozen workshops.

But mentoring is a different slice of what nourishes relationships. It is simple enough. Two couples agree to meet each month, a younger one and an older, yet not by coincidence but from intention. They talk over coffee, go for a walk, or share a meal. It's ordinary. But it is also extraordinary. The younger couple has a chance to be in the presence of endurance that has been burnished over time much like a golden ring. 

One of the couples that agreed to be mentors did so a bit reluctantly, not having large spaces of free time. But after their first evening with their mentor couple she texted me.

"It was so much fun! Thank you for inviting us to be part of it!"

Another couple at first thought we were asking them to be mentored by us. But then they realized we hoped that they would support a younger couple. This shifted their self perception as they realized that they have something to offer, which they certainly do. They have weathered medical emergencies, handled job changes, and grad school. They are raising great kids, and still hold hands for the blessing at supper.

One woman whose first marriage ended abruptly, wrote to me. 

"Now I understand why you kept inviting me to programs. So this wouldn't happen."

In the Lord's mercy she is now in a healthy relationship, and no matter how busy she feels, makes it a priority to meet with her mentor quartet. 

John and I enjoyed mentoring two couples over a few years. Some of that time things were smooth, and others not so much. Now they are stronger than ever and are ready to give back. They are each partnered with younger couples who are as starry eyed as they come, in fact have barely put the stamp on the last thank you note for the tower of wedding presents. 

If it were up to John and me to be the role models for our whole community we would be in trouble. Yet God assures us that marriage offers infinite variety. It is that rich depth that is represented by the twenty couples who are paired with twenty other couples. 

Collectively they bring myriad possibilities to life.