Three letters. One vowel. Two consonants. The list of meanings, though, goes back to my childhood. My mother took her bridge game seriously, and taught me to bid four hearts or a small slam when the conditions were right. She followed every card that had been played. I was just trying not to renege.

Then there were bids for house renovations. It was prudent to get at least three for comparisons. After that the work could begin.

There were silent auctions when my adrenaline went up with each incremental increase in price. One time I won a basket of chocolates, and another day a quilt of embellished hats. But sometimes the line between a good deal and overpaying is blurry. 

The process of buying our house had its drama, and I am grateful that the sellers accepted our offer. 

When you speak of bids within the arena of relationships it means the door has cracked open. It's a subtle invitation to engage in conversation. A quiet request for attention. 

'Whew, what a day."

"Oh really? What happened?"

or

"Hmmmm..."

"What are you thinking about?"

or

Deep exhale. 

"You okay?"

If you are being videotaped in the Love Lab in Seattle by a cadre of Gottman trained clinicians, responding to a bid gets you points. It's indicative of an engaged marriage. Letting a bid go unanswered is suggestive of disinterest.

It is unrealistic to expect to get every contract you bid for whether it is a paint job or five diamonds. Neither can we turn toward our partner every blessed time they send out a plea for connection.

But it behooves us to try. Then the real work can begin.