A friend went away for the weekend, and when she came home things were different. She has longed for a shift in her marriage for ages, and has striven to achieve it. But in a circumstance that she can take no credit for, it arrived. 

One of her thoughts is that the efforts within our relationships are either concealing or revealing. We hide, or step closer. 

Her husband missed her when she was gone. A lot. And that created room for him to be more accepting. He criticized her less, and she in turn was less defensive. In that space of safety trust showed up. Instead of withdrawing to make decisions, she asked for his input. In the absence of protecting herself, she was willing to be vulnerable. 

But it didn't end there. Her interactions with the kids were less difficult, because she was not wasting energy in her marriage. Like the ridiculous amount of water that seeps out of cracked pipes, she had been losing precious vitality to the ground sucking endeavor of placating him. The kids still whined, but her stability in her marriage enabled her to not take it personally. 

The house is still messy and small. But the expansion within their friendship has made those parameters matter less. She has thanked him for the change. 

"You are the perfect husband!" she smiled. 

He looked in her eyes. 

"And what can the perfect husband do for you today?"