John and I are hoping to reboot a program of mentors. Nothing complicated, mind you. Just a chance for foursomes to engage in quality listening every so often. One of the perks of being in a small group is the chance to escape the minutia of my routine and awaken to the lives of people around me. It turns out that giving my attention to someone else helps muffle my tendency toward self absorption. Maybe you would like to join us. 

Egocentricity weakens relationships. I guess it is like a Tinkertoy set with only round wooden discs and no connecting green sticks. Sitting waiting for everyone else to plug into my needs can be lonely, and when all of us do it, that's a lot of lonely. 

Marriage is a way to broaden our self centeredness. Parenting is another. The other night I got together with a group of people that I see every few years. Back in my thirties, I remember the anxiety of wondering what other people thought of how I was managing my life. But this time I felt lighter, willing and eager to hear about how other people are faring, not to judge but to support them. I felt more stable, like a Tinkertoy with many connections. 

And you can build a ton of cool things with Tinkertoys.