Our daughter is in a graduate class called Influence and Persuasion. One of the assignments was to take a paper clip and trade up. She went to a friend who had things lying around that she didn't need, including a bean bag chair and phone charger. But it didn't stop there. She went to a popular career coach on campus, one whose schedule is booked with eager students until December, and offered the phone charger in exchange for an hour of his time. He smiled. 

"Sure."

I laughed and said she could have asked me to bring something from home, as I am an easy mark too. 

"I almost did!"

A presenter at the Marriage Conference a few years ago handed out wooden magnets shaped like arrows. His premise was that he married up. That we all do. In my better moments I know this to be true. John is a calmer driver than me. Coming home from Yale late at night last weekend a truck refused to let us merge in. We could have been smeared right there on the pavement, if I had been at the wheel.

For the next half hour I hovered in prayer and gratitude. 

A van with flashing lights zoomed past us. On the windows were the words "Organ Donor". I prayed for the family of the person whose beating heart was being hurried away, as well as those waiting anxiously for fresh life.  We passed a billboard advertising a Gentlemen's Club and I held compassion for the women who feel entrapped in that lifestyle. I lifted up a petition for each of my children, and for the people I care about whose lives are complicated by disease. 

I haven't always prayed for others. I have a history of prioritizing my own needs. 

But I am trying to trade up.