A friend sent an article about awards. I read it a few weeks ago and cannot quite remember all of it. But one line stuck. If you offer someone a prize for doing a task, they take their eyes off of the task and start looking at the prize.
It is curious to me how many times in life the reward is a complete wonderment.
You may not believe me, in fact I have trouble believing myself, but for my first pregnancy the baby was a shock. I had read forty seven books about labor, nutrition, and exercise. I charted my folic acid, and downed my protein shakes. Did my Kegels, and collected items for the birth kit. But when a slippery seven pound baby landed in my arms I was gobsmacked.
In the nineteenth century families had a bloom of children at least in part to help with the farm.
More kids meant better crops. But those reasons have become outdated, and in fact had no bearing on the size of our brood. The twins helped very little with this summer's raised beds.
I had not the merest awareness when I was shoveling applesauce into the mouths of our babies that one day they would give back to us seven fold. Execute the itinerary for the birthday trip I am taking next week, which includes a concert by John Williams at the Hollywood Bowl.
That our daughter, the one I sewed homespun frocks for, would grow up to give us classier presents than we ever gifted her. Clothes from Ann Taylor. Tickets to the theater and dinner in Philly when the only place I took her was the zoo.
It seems that the system would break down if we hyper focus on what we will get out of this gig, as opposed to hunkering down to the work at hand. Handling this tantrum. Shopping for cleats. Wrestling with insurance.
Then the dessert arrives, in the incarnation of a bride walking down the aisle, or a daughter who takes off work to resettle you after a stroke. A grown son who arranges your long term care, or bursts your heart by becoming a father. Then those miracles are elevated from repayment for past deeds, to the bonanza we could never fool ourselves into believing we have earned.
