Denielle writes-

"As father's day approaches I have been thinking a lot about Jason, the person he was, and the person he probably is now - the continued person. The kids and I have been talking about him a lot, with not as many questions, but in a new kind and neat way. I don't feel mad at him or as painfully sad anymore. How he died and the apparent choice he made wasn't so much of a choice, but a sickness in his body that was wrecking his thoughts and the way he processed the world. They caused him to carry a kind of shame and poor self image that was not deserved or earned. One person explained to me that Jason probably suffered from paranoid schizophrenia which makes sense to me. He thought so many things that were not real. They were slices of truth that had been spun into confused webs of negativity. We used to argue in circles until Adara, at the age of 3, hollered for us to stop, which we did. Bless her heart. He suffered because of those thoughts and ideas that were lies. I can now see threads of his mental illness stringing throughout most of the time that I knew him, though not so well then. The whole of him amazes me. He was like water, cool and deep, like an eagle watching over the ones he loved. He acted and danced without embarrassment, and made music from the soul. He remains my beloved. 
Today, almost 7 years after he's gone to heaven, his kids are that much older. They talk about him and play with him in a way that teaches me about life and bridges the gap of death. They bring energy into what I had not known was so alive. Adara often recalls the memory of me talking to Jason on the phone for the last time, us in MI, him in PA. That meant a lot to her. Elias named his life-size tiger Jason, and they play and snuggle. The other day Elias said "dad's really awesome. I think he can run really fast and move really easily”. 
 When they play Harry Potter and make believe they are the children of the characters now all grown up, (they have only read through book 4) they move with magic and mystery and fun. Jason is sometimes Sirius Black, the character that is there, but not. It’s like they are working things out in their play. This is similar to the way they act out Star Wars stories, imagining and creating parallel adventures with characters they admire or fear, such as Anakin/ Darth Vader. Other people have their parents pass away too, and live good lives. There is a kind of healing going on that makes things better. 
Stories are important. Being creative and playful and imaginative is really important. Tying our lives to others' lives can be a helpful magical power we actually use. As we read Influential stories written now a days, we can try on or become the characters for a time. We find qualities to draw on and grow from, or recognize and discipline. Powerful and true stories like those from the Word. Stories show us how we can relate to one another and how we are not alone. Really dark parts of stories can hold depth and lessons within them. Even the bad guys can turn out to really care about their kids. The bonds of a family, connectedness and friendship can always be seen in anyone's story.

Keep playing with us Jay. We miss you so.

And Happy Father's Day."