One of our kids came home a year ago and complained about our fridge. It had a broken shelf, and the magnetic seal was peeling. There was crud under the drawers and the light didn't work. The salad dressings were older than the kids in my preschool. She did not hold back in her opinions about it. 

"Get a new one." She said it as breezily as if she were suggesting I buy new napkins. 

To his credit, John scrubbed it after she left. It had never looked so clean. Well, I take that back. Twenty years ago it looked great. Still he agreed with her. Even spruced up it was an energy waster. He took the bench seats out of our van and headed off to an appliance store.

The new one was amazing. I had forgotten how handy it is to have illumination on the stack of yogurts, so you can actually pick a flavor. The decadence of three working drawers felt avant-garde. Plus the ability to use all of the shelves made the whole space less crowded. All of us were more motivated to keep it clean.

When our daughter came back last month I expected her to notice. But she didn't. 

I was disappointed, but then I realized that the real beneficiary of the new fridge... was us. We live here. 

When we make a personal upgrade, by scrubbing our thoughts, or tossing expired habits, we may be motivated by the desire to impress someone else. But really, the winner is right here at home.