There is a website called Black and Married with Kids, or BMWK that is pretty great. We have heard the founders speak at conferences in the past and truly respect what they do. 

A recent post is called 5 Ways I Know My Husband Trusts Me. I was curious what bench marks she had to offer. The list was straightforward, and pithy. 

1. He lets me cut his hair. While this is not true for John and me the reverse is. He has been my barber for thirty some years, and I don't even tip him. I had not thought to use this piece of trivia to score points on a trust scale. 

2. He lets me check his messages. I sat up straighter after reading this. Not only does John give me access to his phone and computer, I open his mail and speak for him when we are invited to social events. I tell him afterwards and if by some slim chance he had plans I did not know about he is never miffed.

3. He gives me his passwords. I felt positively great. This was another area I had forgotten to be thankful for, and it does speak volumes about trust. We have no secret bank accounts, or clandestine facebook conversations. Go us. 

4. He lets me see him cry. John is not a weeper but he is willing to feel his feelings in front of me. That is precious, and I hold it in a deeper way.

5. He says "Ask my wife." Reading it in this article, I have a fresh appreciation for just what a significant statement that is. John defers to me about many things, such as hosting parties, and birthday celebrations, decisions about money and how we coordinate the conference each year. That is a gift I had forgotten to say thank you for.

Now I will.