The other day the girls dashed out the door with sweaters on. Their coats lay on the entry room floor, keeping no body warm.
"Get your jackets on. It is winter," I scolded.
"I am fine, Mom," Hope assured me. "We only run from the car to the school
anyway."
I bristled. They have hooded coats, and soft mittens. I get rankled when they don't bother to wear them. I also know that after school we are going on errands, and then to a restaurant for Benjamin's birthday. When we finally head home it will be dark. And cold.
The first five of our kids never needed to mess much with winter. We lived in Florida, New Mexico and California. But in Pennsylvania January sometimes dips into single
digit weather, and we have an arsenal of gear to protect us. Sweat pants, IPhone compatible gloves, hand knitted scarves in a rainbow of colors, jackets and warm boots are all lined up by the back door. But they only work if you wear them. Land's End has not yet come out with remote control thermal wear.
My girls are not fibbing when they say they are fine. But they are speaking from a ninety second jaunt outside the back door. I know that cold settles in
after a few minutes, seeping into their thin sleeves and bare legs gradually. Their teeth could be chattering even as they still insist they are f-f-f-fine.
I do not get miffed easily with the girls. They truly are dreamy to raise. But this no coat thing grates me more than I want to admit. I guess it is because I love them, and the times they have slipped out with not enough layers and ended up shivering or sick is an avoidable problem. There are woes I cannot
shield them from, like a brush off from a clique of classmates, or falling in dance class. But the problem of winter I have covered, or at least I do if they are.
Sometimes I invite young couples to join a marriage group, or attend a conference. They shake their heads and smile at each other.
"We are fine," they assure me.
I sigh. They are fine, now. But what about after a baby comes, or
the economy tightens its grip? Stock piling skills and rubbing elbows with mavens can shield you from the chilly winds that whip up in a relationship. A layer of healthy communication makes good insulation. I may not be able to tell the future when it comes to race horses but I can predict that every new couple will face decisions and heartache that they can't even name yet. I know we did.
When we were first in love, hazy images of the beeping monitors in the emergency
room, cars smashed like an expandable file folder, terrifying letters from attorneys, and flooded basements were not even in my peripheral vision. How could I prepare for events I did not anticipate?
John and I have faced all of those frigid conditions and survived. Fortunately the fleecy warmth of many years came back to sustain us.
