This week we led a class about forgiveness. Probably many people have it as a third string item on their character development wish list, but who actually has an action plan to achieve it? When folks resolve to get fit, they take initiatives involving gym membership and power walking. If they focus their sights on financial security they read
books on budgeting and investment strategies.
We took a modest step in the direction of forgiveness acuity. Each person wrote a dozen things they love about their partner on slips of paper. I invited everyone to tuck them into pockets, drawers, and coffee mugs, to find when the need for forgiveness flares up. It works for me. I remember the day I was irritated at John about some travesty involving .... I forget... and I found the card that was scribed in my own
hand lying innocently beside the forks.
He wrote the song "Arise"
Like baking soda on a stove top flame, the anger poofed out.
Another strategy for forgiveness is a good memory. If I can pull up a remembrance of my last misstep, it helps me walk past John's mistakes. Like last Saturday. I was out babysitting for a friend and took my computer along. I grabbed the
cord on my way out the door. As I sat down on their couch, my phone rang.
"You took my cord, instead of yours. That means that not only does your computer not work, neither does mine."
Oops. I knew he was working on his sermon for the morning, and had probably been counting on an evening of uninterrupted time with his Mac. But his tone was cleansed of the acidity of someone who thinks they are above benevolence. He forgave
me.
It is a heap of work to attain such perfection that you need never bow your head in apology. More importantly, mercy makes a better bridge.
